Why Anxiety Makes It So Hard to Trust Your Own Decisions

Have you ever made a decision, felt reasonably confident about it, and then spent the next several hours—or days—questioning whether you made the right choice?

Maybe you replayed the conversation. Reviewed your options again. Asked multiple people for their opinions. Looked for reassurance online. Or imagined every possible outcome before finally arriving right back where you started.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone.

Many people assume difficulty making decisions is a confidence problem. But often, it has much more to do with anxiety than a lack of capability.

In fact, some of the most thoughtful, intelligent, and self-aware people struggle to trust their own decisions.

Anxiety Wants Certainty

At its core, anxiety is uncomfortable with uncertainty.

The anxious mind is constantly scanning for ways to reduce risk, prevent mistakes, and avoid future discomfort. It asks questions like:

• What if I make the wrong choice?

• What if I regret this later?

• What if I don’t have all the information yet?

• What if there’s a better option I haven’t considered?

  
  

The problem is that most decisions come with some degree of uncertainty.

There is no way to know exactly how a new job, relationship, move, investment, or opportunity will unfold. Yet anxiety often convinces us that certainty is possible if we just think hard enough.

So we keep thinking.

And thinking.

And thinking.

The Illusion of More Information

Many anxious people believe they need more information before they can decide.

Sometimes additional information is helpful.

But often, the search for more information becomes an attempt to eliminate uncertainty altogether.

You might:

• Read countless reviews

• Ask multiple people for advice

• Compare every possible option

• Research long after you’ve gathered enough information

  
  

Eventually, the issue is no longer a lack of information.

It’s a lack of trust.

When Decision-Making Feels High Stakes

For some individuals, anxiety around decisions is rooted in past experiences.

Perhaps mistakes were criticized harshly growing up.

Maybe there was pressure to always make the “right” choice.

Or perhaps previous decisions led to painful consequences that felt overwhelming.

In these situations, the nervous system can begin treating decisions as threats rather than normal parts of life.

The goal becomes avoiding mistakes instead of making choices.

The Hidden Cost of Self-Doubt

When anxiety drives decision-making, people often become disconnected from their own instincts.

Instead of asking:

“What feels right for me?”

They ask:

“What choice guarantees the best outcome?”

But life rarely offers guarantees.

As a result, decision-making becomes exhausting.

Many people find themselves:

• Seeking reassurance repeatedly

• Changing their minds frequently

• Delaying decisions

• Overanalyzing small choices

• Feeling regret regardless of what they choose

The mental energy required can be overwhelming.

Confidence Comes After the Decision

One of the biggest misconceptions about confidence is that it comes before action.

Many people believe they need to feel certain before making a choice.

In reality, confidence often develops afterward.

Most confident people are not certain about every decision they make.

They trust their ability to adapt if things don’t go as planned.

This is an important distinction.

Trusting yourself does not mean believing you’ll always make the perfect choice.

It means believing you can handle the outcome—even if it isn’t the one you hoped for.

What Anxiety Doesn’t Want You to Learn

Anxiety wants certainty.

Healing requires learning something different:

I can tolerate uncertainty.

When people begin making decisions without endless analysis, they often discover something surprising.

The discomfort passes.

The feared catastrophe usually doesn’t happen.

And even when things don’t unfold perfectly, they are often more capable than they imagined.

How Therapy Helps

In therapy, decision-making difficulties are often explored through both cognitive and nervous system lenses.

The goal isn’t to eliminate uncertainty.

It’s to strengthen your ability to navigate it.

This may involve:

• Identifying fear-based thinking patterns

• Understanding the origins of self-doubt

• Reducing reassurance-seeking behaviors

• Building tolerance for uncertainty

• Strengthening self-trust and self-compassion

  
  

Over time, decisions begin to feel less like threats and more like opportunities to practice trust.

A Grounded Truth

If you struggle to trust your decisions, it doesn’t mean you’re indecisive or incapable.

It may mean anxiety has convinced you that certainty is required before action.

But confidence is not the absence of uncertainty.

Confidence is the belief that you can handle what comes next.

And sometimes healing begins the moment you stop asking, “What if I make the wrong choice?” and start asking, “What if I trust myself enough to make one?”

About the Author

Maria Diaz is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in NY, NJ, and CT. She's certified in EMDR and trained in trauma-focused modalities. She is dedicated to providing compassionate care to best support clients seeking to enhance their well-being.

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