On the surface, people-pleasing seems to be a benign desire to make people happy and maintain harmony. People-pleasers can go to extraordinary lengths to be helpful, often struggle to say “no,” and can even minimize their own needs and desires in an effort to appear agreeable. But under the surface lie complex emotions, internal motivations, and potentially underlying trauma. This begs the question: Is people-pleasing a learned behavior or a coping mechanism for unresolved tr

Our brains are wonderful things. When faced with a particularly stressful situation, the brain and body react in a way that protects and keeps us alive. These anxious behaviors have a purpose and, when functioning correctly, will do a great job. But the brain can also wrongly perceive threats. When it is inappropriately triggered, these responses can become problematic.  When we suffer a traumatic experience, the body has similar responses, which can lead to feeling guarded,